Sep 07 2008
Five Things You Need As A Suddenly Single Mother
#1- Sense of Humor.
When you’ve just finished the dishes and you find six drinking glasses in your teenager’s room, or you’ve dressed up for Family and Probate Court and your baby spits up on your court clothes, you can either laugh or cry. It helps if you go the laugh route.
#2- A Good Phrase to Replace “Wait ‘Til Your Father Gets Home”.
This one requires some creativity. You might consider, “I suggest that you finish cleaning your bedroom before I’m officially entering PMS Land.” Or something along those lines.
#3- Groveling Skills.
Some self-help books will say that what you need at this time is “Assertiveness Skills” or “Asking for Help Skills”. But these don’t quite cut it when you’re a newly single mother. Believe me, when you’re trying to get a classmate’s parent to drive your child home from band practice because your calendar says you’re supposed to be three places at the same time, you aren’t asserting. You are groveling.
4) Women Friends.
Yes, men friends are fine, and they might even help you feel more attractive during this ego-demolishing period. On the other hand, if you end up in bed with them, it’s “Go directly to jail, do not collect $200.” You’re looking to make your life less stressful right now, remember? So stick with the women. And if any of them happen to be single mothers themselves, you get bonus points.
#5- Belief in Yourself… And Something Greater Than Yourself.
Okay, so we all know that in the throws of a break-up, we aren’t exactly feeling like we’re all that. Early on, it’s usually more of a case of fake-it-’til-you-make-it. But start building your self-esteem muscles by practicing saying nice things about yourself. Sorrounding yourself with people who see the best in you can certainly help. But from time to time, even our daily affirmations and our kind friends may not be enough to make us believe that things can honestly get better. At these times, a belief in God, Goddess, Higher Power, Creator, or any other power greater than yourself is likely to get you through, even a new-found, not-quite-sure, floudering-sometimes type of belief. Not sure where to begin with that? That’s the subject for an upcoming blog, so stay tuned.
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